What Is Codependency — And Why It’s So Misunderstood

Codependency is one of the most misunderstood emotional patterns ~ often mistaken for simply “being too reliant on someone else.” But the truth is, it runs much deeper than that.

At its core, codependency is not about needing others ~ it's about forgetting yourself. It's about building your identity, safety, and self-worth around someone else's needs, moods, and behaviors. For many people raised in environments where love was conditional or unpredictable, this survival strategy can feel normal ~ even necessary.

You might be a codependent if you:

• Feel responsible for other people’s emotions

• Have trouble setting or keeping boundaries

• Base your self-worth on how much you’re needed

• Constantly put others first, even to your own detriment

These traits can seem like selflessness or loyalty, but they often come from unresolved emotional wounds, not true connection.

Why Codependents Often Attract Narcissists

If you’ve found yourself in a pattern of giving everything and receiving very little in return, you’re not alone. Many codependents unconsciously attract partners with narcissistic tendencies ~ not because they’re weak, but because they are deeply empathic and often willing to carry the emotional load of the relationship.

Narcissists are often drawn to codependents because they seek validation, control, and constant attention,  something a codependent is conditioned to give in order to feel safe or loved. The result is a painful cycle of emotional imbalance that can be hard to break.

But here's the good news: healing is possible. You can begin to untangle your worth from others’ approval, learn how to care for yourself with compassion, and create boundaries that protect your peace.

Begin Your Healing Journey

Ready to start rebuilding your relationship with yourself? Here are a few supportive tools that meet you right where you are:

📝 30-Day Trauma Healing Journal — Gentle daily prompts, affirmations, and a focus question to guide your emotional recovery and nervous system repair.

💖 30-Day Self-Love & Self-Esteem Journal — Deep reflection prompts and confidence-building affirmations to help you reconnect with your inner worth.

📚 Codependent No More by Melody Beattie (Amazon) — A powerful classic for anyone wanting to break free from codependent cycles and reclaim emotional independence.

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Healing codependency doesn’t mean cutting yourself off from others ~ it means finally including yourself in the equation. You don’t have to give up your heart to protect it. You can keep your softness and still create safety. You can still love others, and love yourself fully.

You are not too much. You are not too sensitive. You are allowed to take up space.

Welcome back to you. 💗